nightchild | LET'S GO LESBIANS LET'S GO

[You’re walking across your bedroom towards a window, looking out at the sunset. As ever, the sun burns a dark red color in the sky, slightly obscured by the ever present ash floating through the air. You know that as the sun sets, this means that the mists are not far behind. You notice someone moving towards your right, the figure moving onto the balcony closest to the garden. You step out there as well to see who it is, and you see a man in his late thirties there - Kelsier. He turns towards you as you make your way there, giving you a charismatic smile.

As you stand beside him at the stone railing, he turns and looks over the balcony - not at the grounds of the mansion you’re staying at, but towards the wilderness, the area illuminated by the setting sun. “Does it ever look wrong to you, Vin?”

“Wrong?”

He nods. “The dry plants, the angry sun, the smoky-black sun.”

You give a small shrug, a bit puzzled. “How can those things be right or wrong? That’s simply the way things are.”

“I suppose. But I think your mindset is part of the wrongness. The world shouldn’t look like this.”

There’s a frown on your face as you respond. “How do you know that?”

Carefully, he reaches into his vest pocket to pull out a piece of paper, folded into squares. His touch is gentle as he opens it, then hands it to you. You’re just as careful as you handle it - the paper is old and worn enough that you’re worried you’ll tear it or make it crumble if you’re not very gentle. You see a faded drawing on the paper - some kind of plant that you’ve never seen. It looks too delicate to you, like something that could never survive in the world you live in. The stalk is too thin, and the leaves aren’t sturdy, either. Towards the top of the plant are a collection of different colored leaves, too bright to be familiar to you. It’s much different from the brown, red or orange plants you’re used to.

“It’s called a flower,” Kelsier says. “They used to grow on plants, before the Ascension. Descriptions of them appear in the old poems and stories. - things that only Keepers and rebel sages know about anymore. Apparently these plants were beautiful, and they had a pleasant smell.”

“Plants that smell?” You ask, incredulous. “Like fruit?”

“Something like that, I think. Some of the reports claim that these flowers grew into fruit, in the days before the Ascension.” You only look at him, confused, for a few moments. You’re trying to picture something like that, but you can’t. “That picture belonged to my wife, Mare,” he continues in a softer tone. “Dockson found it in her things after we were taken. He kept it, hoping that we would return. He gave it to me after I escaped.” You look down at the picture again as Kelsier continues to speak. “Mare was fascinated by pre-Ascension times. She collected things like that paper: pictures and descriptions of the old times. I think that fascination - along with the fact that she was a Tineye - is part of what led her to the underground, and to me. She’s the one who first introduced me to Sazed, though I didn’t use him in my crew at the time. He wasn’t interested in thieving.”

You fold up the paper, taking care to be gentle with it once again, as you ask, “And you keep this picture still? After… What she did to you?”

There’s a moment where he falls silent, before he gives you a thoughtful look. “Been listening at doors again, have we? Oh, don’t worry. I suppose it’s common enough knowledge. Yes, I keep the flower. I’m not really sure why. But… Do you stop loving someone just because they betray you? I don’t think so. That’s what makes the betrayal hurt so much - pain, frustration, anger… and I still loved her. I still do.”

“How?” You ask him. “How can you? And how can you possibly trust people? Didn’t you learn from what she did to you?”

He shrugs before answering. “I think… I think given the choice between loving Mare - betrayal included - and never knowing her, I’d choose love. I risked, and I lost, but the risk was still worth it. It’s the same with my friends. Suspicion is healthy in our profession - but only to an extent. I’d rather trust my men than worry about what will happen if they turn on me.”

“That sounds foolish.” You answer almost immediately.

“Is happiness foolish?” He turns away from looking at the sunset to look your way. “Where have you been happier, Vin? On my crew, or back with Camon?” You don’t answer the question. It’s so obvious that you’re sure it must be rhetorical - of course you’re happier with him. He continues on. “I don’t know if Mare betrayed me. She always claimed that she didn’t.”

The two of you talk about her a little more, about whether or not it was likely she betrayed him, and what happened after Kelsier was sent away to the Pits of Hathsin - a place where criminals are essentially sent to be a source of labor until they’re killed.

“But you didn’t die,” You say, both a statement and a question. He shakes his head. “I decided that I’d see her dream fulfilled. I’d make a world where flowers returned, a world with green plants, a world where no soot fell from the sky…” He sighs, after his words trail off for a moment. “I know. I’m insane.”

“Actually,” You say, your voice barely above a whisper, “it kind of makes sense. Finally.” The sun finishes setting, and the mists start to appear, growing in the air, translucent and lengthening.

“Mare wanted children.” He says, suddenly. “Back when we were first married, a decade and a half ago. I didn’t agree with her. I wanted to become the most famous skaa thief of all time, and didn’t have time for things that would slow me down. It’s probably a good thing that we didn’t have children. The Lord Ruler might have found and killed them. But he might not have - Dox and the others survived. Now, sometimes I wish I still had a piece of her with me. A child. A daughter perhaps, with Mare’s same dark hair and resilient stubbornness.” He looks down at you again. “I don’t want to be responsible for something happening to you, Vin. Not again.”

You frown. “I’m not spending any more time locked in this mansion.”

“No, I don’t suppose you will. If we try to keep you in much longer, you’ll probably show up at Club’s shop one night having done something very foolish. We’re a bit too much alike that way, you and I. Just… be careful.” You nod. “I will.” For a few minutes, the two of you stay silent as you watch the horizon, seeing the mists gather and grow now that the sun has set. Kelsier breaks the silence eventually as he stretches.

“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m glad you decided to join us, Vin.”

“To tell you the truth, I’d kind of like to see one of those flowers for myself.” You respond.

The memory ends.]

[Itsuki watches closely, his eyes pinned on the scene before him. He doesn't know much about Vin -- so a part of him is genuinely glad that he gets to see this. Even if it's an invasion of her privacy... (he's always been so curious about people, and this is usually the way he gets to know them). But it doesn't seem like a painful memory (haha)

He studies the man in this memory. When he mentions choosing loving and being betrayed over never loving at all... That part resonates in him a little. But the part that really stands out is that Vin clearly trusts this man, which means he must be some guy to have earned that.

He watches as the memory fades,]

...Did you? Or were you taken here before you could?

[she's quiet for a few moments before she speaks.]

...I have seen them here.

[that probably answers his question. there's something tense in her expression.]

[...it does,

and his expression falls a little, though he tries not to show it]

...How much unfinished business did this place take you from?

[after a moment:]

That is a complicated answer.

Is the situation that complicated back home?

[he had a feeling, considering soot falling from the sky... no plants... it was a peaceful memory, with a sense of urgency]

It is... fairly complicated.

[this answers nothing]

[THIS ANSWERS NOTHING??? but also]

Not something you can just explain, huh...

[he looks at the bubble, realizing that maybe he should PUT SOME COLOR INTO IT himself, he'll raise his hand and bop it]

[the light is dim, and the room feels suffocating. you open a window to let in some air, and the sounds of the ever busy red light district practically assault you.

'it's fine', says the girl lying in bed next to you. 'i like the noise'. she looks familiar -- her hair, eyes, features are all the same as yours, striped with pain and sickness.

You lean in and hold her hand. You can feel the terror in your heart, the same one you always feel when you're with Kazuha. She's dying. You can't do anything to save her. The only doctor who could help her threw you out the last time you went, said something like 'brothel brat' with a sneer that hurt as much as if he had stabbed you. You don't have any more money. You're careful not to tell Kazuha. You don't tell her that you've already agreed to pay off their debts. You don't say anything about the matron, the agreement, the men and women and their lingering gazes.

Instead you ask if she wants a story, and she nods. You pick up the book next to her. 'Cinderella'. You've read this one a thousand times already, but it's one of Kazuha's favorites. At some point she reaches for your hand and you grab it back.

What will happen to you when she's gone? Kazuha is the only person in the world who loves you, and cares for you. Protects you. And there's nothing you can do to help her, not in your threadbare clothes -- not in the brothel that has you both in its iron grip. Not even in the story you're reading to her.

ah. if only you could get sick too, if you could catch it with her, then you could be with her. you've never been without, you two are twins -- meant to be together, no matter how and where. she grabs your hand hard and squeezes, as if she knows what you're thinking.

You can't cry before you finish the story. That's always been the rule. The dream peters out to the sound of your voice, reciting softly.

'...and they lived happily ever after.']

[ah... that's heartbreaking, and after a moment, concerned:]

Did she...?

[...he's quiet for a moment, but he tries for a smile anyway]

Not right away, but... yeah. She passed away when we were fourteen.

...I am sorry.

[but also:]

Why are you smiling?

[you know who vin also reminds him of.... buzen... they're both so straightforward...]

Hm. So I can feel less sad? It usually works.

But it's just moving your face...

[vin be nice i'm begging you]

[HELP]

There's a saying... Smile and the world smiles back at you.

Does that work...?

[pfft]

Sometimes it does. That, or if I smile, then people won't have to feel sad.

Won't you still feel sad, though? And nobody will know it if you seem happy.

[vin,,,, you can't call him out like this.....]

...Sure, but it's such a habit for me now... And I don't know how to change.

[thinking very hard about this...]

Maybe you need... [give her a second to remember what the person who explained it to her called it] Therapy?

[help,

he almost laughs, except he won't... because he knows vin is genuinely trying to help him!!]

I guess I could talk to Shale-chan about it... They're a pretty good listener.

Oh! Is Shale a therapy person?

[no]

[LOOK]

I dunno, actually. But I always feel comfortable talking to them. How about you, Vin-chan? Who do you like talking to here?

Who do I... like talking to here?

[she pauses......]

Why?

I'm curious.

[HE IS,]

Also, I think it'd be nice if you had someone here you're comfortable around.

...There are a few people, I guess...

[somehow flustered]

LET'S GO LESBIANS LET'S GO

this is so long i hate books actually

me in tears; VINNNNN KELSIERRRRR

ME TOO also i didnt get this notif i hate it here

SLDMFLSFD SO MUCH ALWAYS HAPPENS

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