[The relief on his face is palpable at her answer.
Sure, Hot Pants is standing in front of him, hale and hearty, but... after some of the memories he's seen...
...]
I'm glad. ...I'm glad you survived.
[there, and in the past, regardless of how Hot Pants might feel. those are his feelings, as selfish as they are.
he reaches up to tap on the bubble before she can respond, washing them with a blue light]
[the girl in the bed next to you turns over, face shining with sweat. she coughs once, and you try not to flinch. Instead, you start talking, voice bright and overly harsh in the quiet room. You tell her about your day -- you saw a parade, the girls down the hall got into a fight over a comb, you think the cherry blossom trees are about to bloom.
you don't tell her about the rest. the matron with her hand on his shoulders, telling him to pay back the debt now that Kazuha's sick in bed, the doctor that won't see you, the money no one will lend you. the men and women with their gripping, grasping hands and leering gazes. you don't say any of that, you prattle on and on -- barely giving Kazuha a chance to speak.
but the lull comes, and sooner or later she speaks up]
Have you seen him today? ...Has he come?
[something violent and full of rage fills your heart, you know the response is to say 'no' as always, but something in you wants to be cruel]
He's never going to come back. If he wanted to, then he would have already.
[there's silence, then]
You barely know him! [you whirl on her in a rage] Love? That's a lie. It doesn't exist. He's a liar -- you said he only wanted your power -- so why the hell do you care about him so much?
[your tone turns pleading, and you grab your sister's frail arm. she's wasted away so much, you two are twins and yet you look nothing alike. she looks up at you, eyes brimming with tears]
I want to see him again. I'll die if I don't. Itsuki, please...
[you release her, the apple's on the floor now, but you don't pick it up. you can do nothing but sit here and listen to her, it's a nightmare -- a nightmare of your sister's creation, and she stuck you in here so you could suffer. something dark and ugly opens up in your heart]
...Then die.
[You don't register what's happening until your hands are on the door, you can hear the sheets rustle and gasps as Kazuha struggles to sit up,]
Itsuki, wait. Wait -- Itsuki -- please --
[you slide open the door, her voice is louder now as she cries out your name, but you can't stop. you have to run, you have to leave. the room, kazuha, her desperation, her sorrow -- you can't be here anymore. you stumble out the door, desperation making you run faster -- even as her voice rings in your ears, calling your name]
[Her face falls at what Itsuki says, like a shadow passing over her face. She doesn't say anything, and then the memory comes.]
...
[What an ugly scene. She reacts with a wince at the harsh words, the sight of a frail young lady crying out for her brother, but abandoned all the same.]
[She closes her eyes for a moment, before looking at Itsuki.]
[he tries for a smile, and it just twists into a grimace.]
I never thought to ask. I was just angry that they never came to see her and... I didn't want to look for them. I was a brat throwing a tantrum, right until the end.
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[She closes her eyes for a moment, gathering herself, before she glances back at him.]
I and Johnny and Gyro got out of that trap, eventually. But not without great loss. We were collecting artifacts of a kind, and they were taken.
At least...at least we survived that.
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Sure, Hot Pants is standing in front of him, hale and hearty, but... after some of the memories he's seen...
...]
I'm glad. ...I'm glad you survived.
[there, and in the past, regardless of how Hot Pants might feel. those are his feelings, as selfish as they are.
he reaches up to tap on the bubble before she can respond, washing them with a blue light]
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...
[What an ugly scene. She reacts with a wince at the harsh words, the sight of a frail young lady crying out for her brother, but abandoned all the same.]
[She closes her eyes for a moment, before looking at Itsuki.]
Why...who was she in love with?
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[he tries for a smile, and it just twists into a grimace.]
I never thought to ask. I was just angry that they never came to see her and... I didn't want to look for them. I was a brat throwing a tantrum, right until the end.
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I guess you regret it, don't you, Itsuki.
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...I don't think I'll ever stop.
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[She knows what its like to regret.]
[She knows that all too well.]
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he reaches up to clasp Hot Pants' hand with his own. he likes how he doesn't have to say anything, because hot pants will understand.
even if it's something no one should be able to understand...]