[He'll stand for a long time, silent, but accepting, for once. Accepting of her kindness, freely given. He knows it's better than being by himself, even if the more cowardly part of him wants to run.
He wants to say thanks yet again. instead he holds her close, hoping that his touch can convey his gratitude.]
...I knew the truth would hurt. But I didn't know it would hurt this bad. ...Should I say that when Marie-chan's the one...
[who has to deal with what she's done? knowing the truth is one thing, but being it? Itsuki can't imagine, and he finds that he doesn't want to]
If it hurts, it hurts. There's no should or shouldn't.
[he's allowed to say whatever he needs to say, and he's allowed to feel what he's feeling. the fact that marie has to live with the truth that her own hands were used to kill buzen doesn't make the loss itsuki is facing - the existing loss of someone he cares for, the imminent loss of someone else he cares for - any less real.
those feelings can both coexist.]
...you can just let yourself feel. It's alright. Even if it's hard for you, I won't tell anyone... your secrets are safe with me, Itsuki.
He closes his eyes, takes in a deep breath. ...She's right. Having permission to feel -- it feels like it makes a world of difference. It doesn't take the hurt away, but it gives him breathing room. The room stops shrinking around him.
He opens his eyes, offers a small smile, despite the pain in his expression.]
[she smiles up at him and wishes she could do something to ease that pain, but -
there may not be a way to do that. some pain demands to be felt, and the only way out of it is through it. the best she can do is support him through his pain, and she resolves to do that much, at least, for as long as he'll allow her to.]
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nightchild) wrote2022-02-14 10:21 pm
no subject
He wants to say thanks yet again. instead he holds her close, hoping that his touch can convey his gratitude.]
...I knew the truth would hurt. But I didn't know it would hurt this bad. ...Should I say that when Marie-chan's the one...
[who has to deal with what she's done? knowing the truth is one thing, but being it? Itsuki can't imagine, and he finds that he doesn't want to]
no subject
[he's allowed to say whatever he needs to say, and he's allowed to feel what he's feeling. the fact that marie has to live with the truth that her own hands were used to kill buzen doesn't make the loss itsuki is facing - the existing loss of someone he cares for, the imminent loss of someone else he cares for - any less real.
those feelings can both coexist.]
...you can just let yourself feel. It's alright. Even if it's hard for you, I won't tell anyone... your secrets are safe with me, Itsuki.
no subject
He closes his eyes, takes in a deep breath. ...She's right. Having permission to feel -- it feels like it makes a world of difference. It doesn't take the hurt away, but it gives him breathing room. The room stops shrinking around him.
He opens his eyes, offers a small smile, despite the pain in his expression.]
...That makes one more between us.
no subject
there may not be a way to do that. some pain demands to be felt, and the only way out of it is through it. the best she can do is support him through his pain, and she resolves to do that much, at least, for as long as he'll allow her to.]
We can have as many between us as you'd like.