I woke up there alone. And our paths didn't cross until I was already... [her voice breaks. she takes a breath.] ...this place turned me into a monster again, Itsuki.
[...His eyes immediately widen in shock. If his expression was worried before, it's -- well, he looks distressed now. They've all been through some messed up things on these adventures for sure, and by now he's heard so much, but this?
He knows how personal this is for Jiuqing. It feels like only yesterday when they were all in the library together, commiserating with one another about turning into monsters. He only has that experience to draw upon, he has no idea how different it was for her this time around.]
...Jiu-chan.
[his voice is soft,]
Was it like last time? Something made you want attack them?
[Jiuqing trying to comfort him even after experiencing a traumatic cyoa... His heart hurts,]
I had to do a lot of fighting, but it was all physical -- if that makes sense. I didn't have to fight illusions or people I love. And I didn't lose memories this time.
...I'm okay, promise. [he puts his other hand to his mouth and then opens it, showing no petals] See?
[she watches him anxiously as he brings his other hand up to his mouth - and when it comes away with no petals, her shoulders slump a little in relief.]
...good. Good, I... [her voice sounds a little watery] ...I'm sorry you had to go through that. But I'm so glad you're safe.
Itsuki moves as if to embrace her, but the fact that she's MUMMIFIED makes him hesitate, instead he holds her hand with renewed vigor. He doesn't tell her to stop or try to wipe her tears away,
he just sits here while holding her hand because he thinks Jiuqing should have this chance to let it out -- to cry freely without having to put her guard up yet again.]
he motions for her to stop when she brings up her hand, dabbing his clean hankie against her eyes instead.]
I'm pretty sure you'd find a way. [jiuqing!! strong!!!
though at this point he knows that she takes too much on her shoulders, so he is glad that at least he's here to help her... even if it's in small ways,]
...But I'm glad too. I want to keep the promises that I made. To you, and to the others.
[they'll be back in the morning but this time jiuqing won't let anyone see them :/ ]
No, I don't think so.
[...]
Or, at least... no worse than it is for me to be happy that I met you here. If it's selfish, then... we can both be a little selfish if we want to. I think at this point we've earned that.
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nightchild) wrote2022-02-14 10:21 pm
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it's fine.]
Good. I'm... I'm glad you weren't alone.
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how are her hands, are they bandaged... if not, Itsuki will tentatively reach out to hold her handsie,]
...What about you? I know you were with Vin-chan and Shuu-kun, but were you with them the entire time?
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[she shakes her head]
I woke up there alone. And our paths didn't cross until I was already... [her voice breaks. she takes a breath.] ...this place turned me into a monster again, Itsuki.
I hurt them. I hurt them badly.
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He knows how personal this is for Jiuqing. It feels like only yesterday when they were all in the library together, commiserating with one another about turning into monsters. He only has that experience to draw upon, he has no idea how different it was for her this time around.]
...Jiu-chan.
[his voice is soft,]
Was it like last time? Something made you want attack them?
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[her voice is very quiet.]
It was anyone. If they were in my way... if they were alive... I just - I couldn't stop...
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...It really picked the worse thing to do to you, huh?
[he sounds both frustrated and sad. jiuqing? who worked so hard to save all of them time and time again?
he reaches for her hand, careful.]
...I'm sorry, Jiu-chan.
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[she takes his hand. her hold on it is pretty light, because she's exhausted, but. she'll allow this.]
It wasn't your fault. I... [...] ...what happened where you were? You're... are you really okay?
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I had to do a lot of fighting, but it was all physical -- if that makes sense. I didn't have to fight illusions or people I love. And I didn't lose memories this time.
...I'm okay, promise. [he puts his other hand to his mouth and then opens it, showing no petals] See?
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...good. Good, I... [her voice sounds a little watery] ...I'm sorry you had to go through that. But I'm so glad you're safe.
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[her voice.... it's a good thing he has a clean handkerchief in his pocket, ready to be used at a moment's notice...
though he also knows jiuqing isn't the type who cries easily, or lets others see her cry.]
...I'm glad you came back to us. Thank you, Jiuqing.
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[her hands are trembling a little.]
So... I had to come back. I couldn't not.
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...Yeah. That's the kind of person you are. Always thinking of us, and never giving up.
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that
yeah she's crying. but it's okay. she trusts itsuki enough to be vulnerable in front of him.]
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Itsuki moves as if to embrace her, but the fact that she's MUMMIFIED makes him hesitate, instead he holds her hand with renewed vigor. He doesn't tell her to stop or try to wipe her tears away,
he just sits here while holding her hand because he thinks Jiuqing should have this chance to let it out -- to cry freely without having to put her guard up yet again.]
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eventually, the tears stop. she brings up her free hand to wipe at her eyes, and then she actually manages to smile up at him.]
Thank you for being here, Itsuki. I really don't know what I would do without you.
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he motions for her to stop when she brings up her hand, dabbing his clean hankie against her eyes instead.]
I'm pretty sure you'd find a way. [jiuqing!! strong!!!
though at this point he knows that she takes too much on her shoulders, so he is glad that at least he's here to help her... even if it's in small ways,]
...But I'm glad too. I want to keep the promises that I made. To you, and to the others.
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I trust you to keep them. I'm sure the others do, too.
[and she doesn't trust easily, so... wow, it sure would suck if he went and broke that promise, wouldn't he? ha ha.
anyway, she'll stay still while he dabs at her eyes.]
...thank you.
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he'll gently dab away, until it's clear that there are no more tears... for now...]
..I never thought I'd meet anyone who'd care about whether I'm alive or not.
[it's not said self-deprecatingly, or even sadly. just matter-of-fact]
There's a lot about this place that I hate, but... I'm still happy about that. Is that bad of me?
[to be happy to be cared for, even when there's so much loss? he thinks it's does -- it's selfish, but he's always known that part about himself.]
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No, I don't think so.
[...]
Or, at least... no worse than it is for me to be happy that I met you here. If it's selfish, then... we can both be a little selfish if we want to. I think at this point we've earned that.