[he did leave her. nothing she says... is entirely wrong. Itsuki thinks about the comfort people had offered him. how unfailingly kind they were. because they listened, even when Itsuki had told them that he wanted to be cruel,]
I ran away from her because I wanted to. [like every other time] Because I didn't want to look at her, or you. Because looking meant that I'd have to remember what you did -- even when you were refracted.
[even now, weeks after the fact, Itsuki can't forget it. It's why he can't tell anyone to forgive Danny -- not when he'd had such a hard time with Buzen's death. Refracting? Killing? None of it was their fault. Hearts are so irrational, in the end.
Maybe that's why -- while hating what she did, he still can't let her go -- either of them. That he can hate her, while caring for her at the same time. Maybe that's the biggest cruelty, that he can't stick to just one thing. That he has to love and hurt her both. Because that's who he is, in the end.]
Trusting me, forgiving me... Hating me... That's up to you. But I want you to know that I meant to be cruel then. Just like how I wish I could take it all back now.
no subject
[he did leave her. nothing she says... is entirely wrong. Itsuki thinks about the comfort people had offered him. how unfailingly kind they were. because they listened, even when Itsuki had told them that he wanted to be cruel,]
I ran away from her because I wanted to. [like every other time] Because I didn't want to look at her, or you. Because looking meant that I'd have to remember what you did -- even when you were refracted.
[even now, weeks after the fact, Itsuki can't forget it. It's why he can't tell anyone to forgive Danny -- not when he'd had such a hard time with Buzen's death. Refracting? Killing? None of it was their fault. Hearts are so irrational, in the end.
Maybe that's why -- while hating what she did, he still can't let her go -- either of them. That he can hate her, while caring for her at the same time. Maybe that's the biggest cruelty, that he can't stick to just one thing. That he has to love and hurt her both. Because that's who he is, in the end.]
Trusting me, forgiving me... Hating me... That's up to you. But I want you to know that I meant to be cruel then. Just like how I wish I could take it all back now.